Cultivating adult relationships with your ADULT children

As the nest starts to empty and your children venture into adulthood, a new and exciting phase of life begins. While it can be a time of rediscovering yourself and pursuing your own dreams, it also involves developing adult relationships with your children. This skill becomes increasingly important as you embrace the journey of becoming an empty nester. I know for me, I was determined to make it easy for both of us. My approach was that of encouragement and celebration, which helped my daughter walk into this next level with expectation and feeling empowered.

The Transition

The transition from being the primary caregiver to becoming more of a guide and mentor can be both rewarding and challenging. It's about recognizing that your children are no longer kids; they are now adults making their own choices, forming their own identities, and building their lives. I’ve found it particularly challenging for some parents to see when that transition is approaching, and the transition becomes harder for them, as parents, because they usually are struggling with change and letting go. I learned this very lesson from my own mom who struggled with letting go of us, selectively, in another blog post, but for now, yes, she struggled, and it made for a very rocky and emotional start for us in life because we were so busy trying to navigate these new independent waters and tend to parents who are struggling with letting go. Which can also cause a myriad of issues as your child tries to take flight as a newbie young adult. You want to ensure that your child's transition into adulthood is as smooth as you can help it to be. You want to enjoy the work and labor you put into raising them!

Accepting New Members into Your Family

One significant aspect of developing adult relationships with your children is the acceptance of new members into your family through your children's relationships. They may introduce you to partners, spouses, or friends who become an integral part of their lives. Embracing these new relationships with an open heart can strengthen the bonds within your family. You get to see how your children show up in relationships as well. All your raising and rearing put to the test!

Challenges and Growth

Challenges may arise as you navigate this transition. Your children's choices may differ from what you expected or planned for them. They might make decisions that you find difficult to accept. Let them learn from those decisions. It's crucial to remember that their paths are their own, and your role now is to offer support, understanding, and guidance. Trust me, it’s no better feeling than feeling invited into your child’s adult life. You want to be welcomed. It’s the best. You get to have a front-row seat in the pivotal moments when you trust them to navigate their path and they feel your support and love.

Effective Communication

Effective communication is at the heart of developing adult relationships with your children. Encourage open and honest conversations where everyone feels heard and valued. Share your thoughts and concerns, but also be a good listener. Remember that your children may seek your advice but ultimately make their own decisions. The choice will always be theirs. But keeping the door open for them to feel secure enough to count on you to be there is all the assurance they need to keep communication open with you.

Respect Their Independence

Respecting your children's independence is a vital aspect of these evolving relationships. Avoid being overly controlling or intrusive. This is where boundaries will play an integral part of your child’s adulthood. It will be hard for some parents to understand that boundaries works both ways. Give them the space to make choices, even if they make mistakes along the way. It's through these experiences that they will learn and grow.

Celebrating Achievements

As your children pursue their own ambitions and accomplishments, celebrate their successes and be their biggest cheerleader. Yes, clap for them! Whether it's career milestones, personal achievements, or significant life events, be there to support and congratulate them. You are strengthening their resolve to do this adulting thing with confidence and you’re there every step of the way.

What I’ve learned for sure..
Becoming an empty nester is a transformative journey that involves not just adjusting to a quieter home but also developing adult relationships with your children. it has been one of the most heartwarming experiences for me because I am now seeing my daughter through a new set of eyes as an adult. Embrace the changes, accept new members into your family with an open heart, and cherish the opportunity to witness your children bloom into independent, capable adults. Because you are not losing anything, in fact, you are gaining, Your circle is expanding and you get the honor of becoming a part of an exciting journey with your now adult children. It's a chapter filled with growth, challenges, and, most importantly, the enduring love that binds your family together.

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